Hugging For Happiness
These days we the parents are more stressed than ever. Just to make ends meet, put a roof over our head and food on the table we as a society are putting in more and more hours for less in return. Add to that, when available, we are distracted by the likes of electronics. So, even when available, either us or our kids are not.
This creates a huge disconnect. Then when we are available, we feel both rushed and guilty. The easiest way through parenting in these times is to give kids what they want. It’s fast and it helps discharge our guilt. When we are activated to connect with our kids, it is when something is out of line and we have no choice but to jump in. Then we are quick to admonish, redirect and reset their course.
However, our kids are less apt to listen. This is because there are already resentful for our lack of availability even if unable to say so. What we get is pushback, resistance and protest. Things spin out of hand. Conflict seems to come out of nowhere.
The way through, as simplistic as this may sound, is with hugs. Think of that hug as the pause that refreshes, that reconnects us, that beings us back together. If we understand the conflict as the distress of disconnection, then that hug is what plugs us back into each other. While you may already hug your kids, many hug as a matter of habit, not intention.
For your next hug, go out of your way. Hunt your children down. Find them wherever they are. Interrupt and hug. Let them wonder what that was all about. They will figure it out. They are loved. You can always tell them you are hugging for happiness. With that behavior settles.